Dear Women,
First of all, we're sorry. We're sorry that although
we look like men, we often act like boys. We're not even sure what it
means to be men anymore. As we grow up, we learn that to be happy is to
be self-indulgent and self-centered. We try to make enough money so that
we can have the right TV with the right video games in the right home.
We want to date you and maybe even marry you but we are scared to focus
on someone else instead of ourselves. Isn't it sad that we see
committing to you as a potential threat to our happiness instead of a
wonderful opportunity?
Here's what we don't understand: True
happiness comes from being true men. We think and act like boys who
don't want their toys taken away. We look up to "role models" in the
media who teach us to get as much gratification out of life as possible.
We may claim to be spiritual, or even firm atheists, but pleasure is
the god that we worship, whether we realize it or not. Unfortunately,
women tend to be just another part of our hedonistic lifestyle. Please
know this: True men won't treat you like an irritating obstacle or a
intimate convenience.
A real man understands that women are to be
cherished and treated with care and honor. He sees marriage as the
opportunity to be a real-life superhero—he leaves behind his old
identity and becomes a new person, dedicated to serving his wife and
children. Although he will struggle at first, a true man who marries
eventually understands that he can't fit through the narrow doorway to
happiness if he tries to carry all of his toys with him. There is just
enough room for him and his wife, arm in arm, committed to their
marriage.
Women, you can help us become real men! Most
importantly, we want to feel admired by you. Help us to know that you
love us just as we are, even if there is room for improvement. Do this
by giving us words of validation; praise us for the things we do well.
This means more to us than we let on.
In return, we will make
sure that you feel loved and cherished by us. We will learn to talk with
you so you can be heard and understood, not so that we can tell you how
to solve your problems. We'll also try to learn to express how we feel
without withdrawing or getting angry. With polished communication we can
learn that what makes you happy makes us happy too! What a concept!
Once
again, we're sorry. We are to blame, even though good male role models
are hard to find these days. We've ignored our calling to become true
men and instead act like we're in high school for as long as we can.
Please trust that we are capable of more than this.
If you are
frustrated with the man in your life, do your best to forgive him and
start fresh. After a while, if it's clear that he will not become a real
man, leave him. You deserve better.
A healthy relationship will
make everyone involved feel happy. When we are happy, we are capable of
living meaningful and fulfilling lives alongside one another. Thank you
for your understanding and patience as we journey onward to find
happiness and become real men.
Sincerely,
Men
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